Rebecca - Leaving for camp

Rebecca here. Today I left for Jessamine, Maine, where I go every summer to dance camp for a week. Its about four or five hours away, so I always leave pretty early, because the first class is in the afternoon. Today I got up around five-thirty, and finished packing. I packed some clothes, a book, and my stuffed kitten, Dream. Then I made sure I had my dance bag packed and ready, because its more important then all my clothes. Then I got my guitar, because I can't go anywhere without it. Playing my guitar helps calm me when I'm upset, or comfort me when I'm sad. Its like dancing, but with music, and easier to do in odd places. You can't dance well in a little enclosed space, but you can play guitar. 

Then I said goodbye to Samantha, who was on her way to the beach with Andrea. She wrapped me in an impromptu hug, which really threw me off guard. I don't really like physical contact, especially if its unexpected. 

 The bus ride was pretty long, but also very fun. I love looking out the window and dreaming about the people I see, wondering where they're going and why; who they are and what they do. I feel different when I'm traveling somewhere, more....myself, if that makes sense. I don't know. How do i really know what 'myself' is anyway? How, when nothing is stable, do you maintain a single conciseness anyway? I guess I mean I feel real, not fake, like I'm not pretending. Being on a bus o train or car is like being in-between what I feel and where I'm going. I love to travel because it makes me feel real. Its kind of like the feeling I get when i dance, or get lost in music. Leaving everything behind, and shedding a mask, in a place where nobody knows you. I'd do anything to get that feeling again, because it stops the restlessness and uncertainty. Nobody else seems to feel this way. Am I really the only one who feels so trapped?

It felt so good to be back at Jessamine Dance Academy (JDA). I hadn't been there in so long, but it still looked exactly the same. I would stay here always if I could. I got a room on the forth floor, overlooking the beach. Its so beautiful, like a painting instead of a window. The rooms are pretty nice, very neat, which is good. I like things to be neat and calm in my room, whatever is going on everywhere else. 

The first thing i did was unpack my clothes, putting them all away neatly in the closet. Then i made sure that my dance stuff was clean and all there. It was still an hour to class, so i sat down and finished the Nellie book Samantha lent me. It was OK. I'm not the biggest fan of the american girl books. I find them boring, but I guess each to his own. 

The class was really, really, great. We didn't waste to much time on introductions and silly nice-to-meet-you games. Thats one of the things I like best about JDA. They're really serious. The class was pretty easy, but its only the first day. I had fun, though. I saw some girls I recognized from last year, but none of them talked to me. I've made it clear that I don't want any interaction with them. 

Tomorrow we have more classes, which I'm really excited about. Then I might go down to the beach in the evening. It's one of my favourite places, because it's a private beach, so there aren't any stupid tourists.  

Finally feeling like herself,

Rebecca