I've been waiting for the right moment to get my dad alone and ask him about the woman, but I haven't yet. I mean, its not that I haven't gotten a chance to....Its just...I don't know.....I guess I'm scared to ask him. Not to ask him, exactly. Scared of what he'll say. I don't know what I want him to say, really. I'm so confused, because i don't even know what I want to happen. Rachel said that she'd seen her before. Seen the woman with the auburn hair. Rachel told me that shes really tall, and dark-eyed. Not like my short mother at all, with her light brown hair and narrow green eyes. This women sounds exactly the opposite of mom. Is that what he wanted?
But if he was in love with this woman, why didn't he marry her once he'd divorced mom? I have no idea what to think. It's not that i don't want him to have a girlfriend....clearly, he's allowed to date, he's allowed to re-marry if he wants to. But I don't like to think of him cheating on mom. Going behind her back. Sneaking around. I can't think of my father like that, like some crappy husband you read about in those super complicated love triangle novels, like A Crowded Marriage, or something. But what if this woman was his one true love? And he'd rather be with her then with mom because they were meant for each other? I'd rather him be happy then stuck with someone he didn't love. But in this case, that 'someone' is my mom. That changes things. At least, it should. And its not that I don't love my mom, its just that I love her less. No, thats not right. I love her in a different way. And I don't not want her to be happy, or anything, but if my dad really loves this other woman, he should marry her. Wait, wait. I'm getting way to ahead of myself. I don't even know if he's dating her now, let alone for years behind my mothers back. She could just be a friend, right? Men are allowed to have female friends, even unmarried ones. Or divorced ones, like my dad. Mom has tons of male friends, that doesn't mean she's dating any of them. I've got to talk to him soon, I'm only here until the sixth. Then I go back home. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But somehow i don't think so.
Lilyana
Konnichiwa, Lily!
ReplyDeleteI can sort of understand how you feel. My dad dated another woman almost as soon as he left my mom. I was somewhat scared to ask him about her. I din't want him to think I was butting into something.
I hope you get things sorted out!
-Sayoko