Yesterday, Rachel and I went on a day-long riding trip through Beckers Woods. We rode for a while, sunlight dappling Andrina and Moondust Racers sides. Andrina is Rachel's horse. She's a light brown bay with the sweetest disposition. She's really fast, and she and Rachel have won tons of competitions. Moondust Racer is the horse I ride at my fathers. My own horse, Cooper Cream, boards at a stable near where i live ion Boston, so I can ride him a lot. Moondust Racer is a light gray with a darker mane. When I ride her out on foggy mornings, I pretend I'm riding a phantom horse, born of the mist. When I told Rebecca that, she wrote me this amazingly eerie short poem. I never knew Rebecca wrote poetry. I would post it, but I bet Rebecca would kill me. But thats not the foremost of whats on my mind right now.
Yesterday, while riding in the woods, Rachel told me something that I'm not sure about.
"Hey Lilyana." Rachel turned to me, ducking beneath a branch.
"Yeah?"
"I want to tell you something."
"Sure."
"Its really, really, serious."
"Go on."
"Lilyana, its...its hard to say."
"What s it?" I answered, not really paying that much attention.
"Its about your father."
"My father?"NOW I was paying attention. What did she have to say about my father that was important? "What about him?" Oh god, what if he had cancer or something, and he told Rachel to tell me because he couldn't do it himself, and he's going to die and i'll be fatherless and they'll sell the ranch and I'll be stuck with mom forever! "Tell me Rachel, oh god, is he dying? Tell me truthfully!"
"Dying? No, Lil, of course not! Thats not what I meant at all!I'm sorry I scared you."
"Thank god!"
"If was dying, he'd tell you himself."
"You think?"
"Definitely."
"Well, what is it, though?" I asked, part relieved, part annoyed, part scared. Moondust nickered, ad i absently stroked his ears.
"Well....I saw him with a woman yesterday."
"A woman?"
"Yeah, this pretty auburn haired woman."
"You mean...like, dating? A date?"
"I guess so."
"Well, there's nothing wrong if he wants to date again. I mean he's allowed to. He's not married anymore" I almost cried with relief. That was all? Dating? I didn't care if my father dated, not really. I mean, if he got super involved with her and forgot about me, or maybe if she was mean, or he wanted to marry her, I might get upset, with good reason. But just dating? No problem. Even if he wanted to marry agin, I wouldn't mid that much, as long as she was nice and liked horses. Its not like I had any illusions about him and mom getting back together, because I knew that was never happening. "Thts fine rachel. I'm glad you told me, but I don't mind."
"Thats not all." She said. What now? Where they engaged, or something? Was she pregnant?
"What, he's not marring her, tight?"
"Not that I know of."
"Then what?"
"I've....seen her before."
"You know her? Who is she? Is she nice? Do I know her?"
"No to all. Well except the nice one, because I have no clue. She doesn't look mean. No, I've seen her around a lot."
"They're probably sleeping together."
"Not what I meant Lil, although yes, probably. No, I meant I'd seen her before. Like, while you where still here."
"You mean....while he was still married to mom?"
"Uh-huh." She nodded. Whoa. If she meant what I though she meant, then....
"You never said anything!"
"I didn't put it all together till a week ago. I'd seen her around for ages, I just never connected her to your Dads girlfriend before." My Dads Girlfriend. I never thought i'd ever think those words, let alone hear them. And if Rachel was right, they'd been there for longer then I would expect. Longer then I ever knew.
"You think she was cheating on my mom?"
"I don't know. Who knows? Maybe. Ask him, Lil. You have a right to know."
I do. But did I want to? Did I want to know my dad was cheating on my mom? Well, at least it seemed serious. I'd rather my dad cheated on one girl he seemed to really like then a lot of girls he didn't care about, like some peoples fathers did. But had he? Had there been other girls? I didn't think so. But then, I hadn't noticed this woman either. How much was I missing? I'm going to ask him, maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. Whenever seemed right.
Lil
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