Samantha - Nervous

I am so nervous for the pageant tomorrow. What if I don't win? What if Rebecca wins, again? I have to win, I want it so bad. I'm tired of not winning; and ever since Rebecca came thats all I've been doing. And she doesn't even care! She never talks about winning it, never seems to think about it. She doesn't deserve to win at all! So its not fair that she's the pretty one, the talented one. I should win this pageant, because I know that I deserve to win. Melanthe says I'm to competitive, but I'm not. Is it such a crime, really, to want to win a pageant? To want what is rightfully yours? I don't think so. Melanthe is to laid back about the whole pageant thing, and honestly, I'm glad. She can get pretty mean sometimes; look how nasty she was to Rebecca at the beginning of the summer, when we first found out we were moving.

I guess I should give you guys an update on that. As you know, my mother told as at the end of June that we would be moving, because we needed more space. The only problem was, the new house didn't have a loft like the one we sleep in now. Because of that, one of the boarders (Mellie or Rebecca) would have to leave. There was a huge fight - well, a number of them - about who would leave; Rebecca point-blank refusing, and Melanthe getting super mad. Fortunately, disaster was averted when we split up for most of July - Melanthe to her parents beach house, Lilyana to her father in Montana (Where more drama ensued), and Rebecca to dance camp. While I was here, however, things began to happen. First of all, we couldn't find a buyer for our current house, so things got paused for a while. We still don't have a buyer; so I guess this whole moving business is on a kind of permanent hold. I'm hoping that whatever happens, it happens in enough time that we don't go crazy like we did in july. It was kind of decided that it would be Melanthe that leaves, but nobody is really willing to talk about it. So.....what are we going to do? I have no idea. I just hope that things will work themselves out to a (preferably happy) conclusion. Since the house isn't sold yet, and the new house isn't bought yet - we're waiting until we sell this one, we don't want two houses- who knows? Anything could happen.

Samantha.

*See Notes From The Artistic Director