Rebecca - Pageant and dancing

I'm really glad I did this pageant, I guess. It was nice to win. I love how it feels when everybody is clapping for me. It makes me feel as though I belong, like I'm 'Part Of It All' like that song says. It's a wonderful feeling. I wasn't nervous at all. I don't really get nervous a lot. Years of performance can do that to you. I'm glad I choose Learn To Be Lonely as my guitar piece, it is such a touching song. I feel that if there was one song to describe my life; that would be it. It is so pretty and so fitting. I feel such a connection to it, an when I play it onstage, it feels very magical. Like I'm up on air, and there is nothing but me and the music, all unhappy thoughts and bad things go away. Thats what I want to convey to the audience in my song. Thats the part of me I want them to see on stage.

I was fairly surprised when they called my name as the winner. It was like this feeling of elation ran through my body. As they hung the medal around my neck, I thought ; This is it. This is the big moment.  I felt so happy, so high. It was wonderful. It's like I've been up on air for the past two days, flying and flying. I can do anything, be anyone.

What I want to do is dance. When I dance, the pain and sadness I often feel just lifts away and withers in the air, and I feel free. Free and unencumbered and alive, like my soul is bare o the world and every feeling is perfect and raw. It is the most wonderful thing ever when I dance. Last night, while Samantha  and Lilyana got their stuff ready for school on the tenth, I went up to the roof and danced. The night air was cool and fresh against my skin, tingling as if it was alive. Like the night was alive, breathing in the warm days and expelling them as perfection. I stood on the edge of the roof, my toes griping the sides. I felt like I could fly. Dancing on the roof, I felt free. Free, and perfect, and astonishing.