Lilyana - First Day of School

Hi guys. As you know, yesterday was the first day of eighth grade for us. It was, as first days go, pretty uneventful. Samantha and I are in the same homeroom, which is awesome. Samantha's friend Andrea is also in our homeroom, which is great for Samantha, I guess. I'm disappointed that Ani isn't in my homeroom, and is only in one of my classes. I wish i could see her more. Ani and I are both very shy; so it's harder for us to make friends, and talk in class. It's easier when we have each other. But the really annoying thing (For me, anyway) is that Andrea is in almost ALL Samantha's classes. That is so unfair.  But I guess I shouldn't complain; Melanthe has it worse then I do - Maddi doesn't even go to our school! She goes to the public school; and we all go to a private school. But Melanthe doesn't really care very much. She's such a social person; that she will already have twenty new friends by the end of the week; whereas I'll be lucky to make one new friend by the end of the month. I know everybody is different; but why do I have to be so shy, and people like Samantha and Melanthe are so outgoing? What decides all that, anyway? Genes? My dad is a very outgoing man, and my mom is too. So where do I get it from?

Speaking of my dad; I got a letter from him today. He told me all about the horses, and how they're doing. One of his mares; Auburn Mist, is going to have a foal in the spring! I am so excited. But it's still weird that I'm not going to be there. I just can't process the fact that all that - all my old life - is over there, while I'm still here. None of the other girls have this problem. Melanthe never really talks about missing her family (She does tell us a lot about them, and her sister Kira), and she's not even been here a year! And Rebecca just never talks about her family in general, but I don't get the feeling she misses them very much. I know that it's different - Rebecca and Mellie chose to come here so they could study at Sutton, and I was forced to move here - but I still don't understand. Is it weird to miss my father so much? Is it wrong? I just don't understand why I can't stop missing him so much. I think I'm crazy, or something, but sometimes I wonder what would happen if he got sick, or fell off his horse, and I wasn't there. If I never got to say goodbye to him. I don’t think I could live with myself then. And then there’s his girlfriend – Grace. Who he's seeing a lot, he says. Do you think he'll tell me if they get engaged? He wouldn't keep it from me, would he? Would he? Because I get the feeling he's hiding something from me. Like there's something he's not telling me. I don't know why; but I'm scared.

Lilyana