Samantha - Making Decisions

Nobody knows about the move but Lily and I, and I plan to keep it that way. Mellie never reads the blog unless its her turn to post, (Sometimes I get the feeling this isn’t very important to her at all) and Rebecca is in one of her sulks again, so she won’t read it either. I tried today to drop hints about leaving to Rebecca and Mel. You can probably guess that Rebecca was uninterested. But I had great luck with Mellie! She said that she’s been thinking of other girls to room with, because she wants to find a group that’s more like her. Boy–crazy  and party–lovers, I guess. People like her, who want to get on “the scene” and fool for hours with their hair, trying to attract boys. The funny thing is, though, Melanthe is gay, yet she’s always talking about attracting boys, and crushing on boys. She told me once that she talks like that so people won’t laugh at her. I feel bad for her when she says stuff like that. It seems like she’s always acting when she’s with girls like that, so I guess they aren’t really “girls like her” at all. I never thought of that, but i guess we all act most of the time. To ourselves, yo each other. Maybe what she really wants is a change. I’m kind of bummed that she’d even consider leaving. I guess I just assumed they all felt the way I did. But hey, whatever. If it makes this any easier. We had fun, looking through the Traveling Stars website, checking out girls with available space. Mellie wasn’t really taking it seriously though, which doesn’t mean anything, she’s always like that. Maybe she’ll find another great place to live, wouldn’t that be fun for her? I’ve always thought that she was a bit different then us in that she was more pinky-y and girly and wanted a boyfriend – or girlfriend -  and loved to party. Reckless too, I guess. The type that would nick a stop sign from the side of the road and hang it in her bedroom, the type who isn’t afraid to sass adults and get away with stuff. She’d love to room with girls like her. None of us are like that. Well, I am a little. She loves change and travel, and I thought I did to, but look at me now. Well, I still love travelling, and I guess that all change is hard to take in, its only been a couple days since they told me. I’ll encourage Mel about that, and talk to Rebecca. I do have time, we’re not leaving for a couple weeks. I’m planning to tell them on the first, and we can tell our friends at the party on the Forth of July. By then, we might have everything settled.