Lilyana - Thoughts About The Move

Rebecca found out today, and I think she took it fairly well, considering. She’s been very calm, but I worry that something else is going on, behind the calmness. Rebecca is like that sometimes. I don’t know how I feel about this. I like my room and our house, but I know it would be better for everyone if we moved. We do need the space, and i know Mom really wants her own office so she can have privacy while she works. Melanie also needs her own room. She’s almost ten, and should really have her own space. I guess I do really feel okay about this move. I would be great about it, except that it means one of us must leave. I can’t feel good about that. To break us up is awful. But maybe Mellie would have a better time with girls more like her. I don’t think any of us understand her very well. Sometimes I think I do, but then she does or says something that makes me stop and reconsider. Rebecca….Well, I partly agree with her. She can’t go home, and I don’t know if she’d be welcome anywhere else, because of…what she told me last week. I hope she admits it to the others soon, because she’ll face a lot of trouble if they find out from somewhere else. But besides that, I really feel guilty that I don’t care more about this. Because I really don’t. Maybe if I were leaving I would feel different, but I’m not, and there’s no chance I ever will. Gosh, and I’m supposed to be the emotional one!

Samantha had a talk with Rebecca today, and she agreed to send in a few applications – just to see. She got annoyed, but agreed “JUST to see, Samantha. You know I’m not going.” I’m really worried about what will happen. Wish us luck.